Once again the dreaded month of February – LOVE MONTH – is upon us men! Oh lord! It’s the month where more men than not are left scratching their heads trying to figure out what in the world they can do to demonstrate their love for their significant other year after year. No doubt its tough men, and unlike the early relationship, days where life pressures were lower and our attraction sensory systems were on high alert, the longer a relationship goes the more obstacles old man life puts in the way – all designed to suck the word “romance” right out of a relationship. Kids, bills, busy family schedules, careers and everything else that life throws at us become the obstacles we face, the things that take up our time, drain our energy, stress us out and deplete the romance from our relationship. So how do we deal with love month? How do we use love month to rekindle the romance we desire in our relationships? Here are my Top 4 thoughts – hopefully they help you gents who are struggling to find more romance all year long with that someone special in your life.
1. First, don’t wait till February 14 to try to pull off the most romantic day and night of her life. If you are hoping for a little reciprocated romance and physical time with your partner on February 14, and throughout the year, you can’t just try and be romantic on one day of the year! The fact is, it’s more than likely going to get really old for the lady in your life if you simply try to turn the old charm on – on Valentine’s Day. You can’t be out of touch with her for days, weeks, and months, and then try to turn it around in a 24-hour period to hit the love jackpot on Valentine’s night. No, if you want a romantic Valentine’s Day – a really romantic Valentine’s Day – you have to keep some semblance of romance flowing throughout the year. She needs to feel respected, cared for, safe and romanced all year-round, gents, if she’s going to believe you’re really into her for more than a close physical encounter on Valentine’s Day. She may fall for your once-a-year Valentine’s Day efforts for a year or two, but boys, ladies are smart. If we continually, year after year after year, fail to cherish her, well, you can expect after a while the romance is just not going to be rekindled in a 24-hour stretch on February 14. We need to be loveable – year-round boys!
2. Men, put an effort in! Most of us male types were pretty creative when we were young guns trying to win a woman’s attention. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that our creativity, persistence and attention were what won our women’s heart. She didn’t get romantic with you because you were a distant, oblivious, jerk. We knew in the early relationship days that we needed to treat her well if we wanted any chance of winning the prize long-term. Nothing’s changed guys. If you want some of your woman’s romantic attention – get creative and show her some of the old magic more often than not. Let her know on a regular basis that she interests you – and be interesting for her. That effort will make Valentine’s Day simply a reaffirmation of what she already believes – you’re loveable!
3. Work at being attractive. Looks are not everything, but let’s not kid ourselves boys, they do matter. Frankly, not many women say “wow there’s a really unattractive guy – I’d love to be with him!” If you want your woman’s attention, work at caring for yourself and be attractive. Be physically attractive. Stay current with your choice of clothing styles (to my shock, years ago my sons told me the socks in the flip flop look was not cool! I had to change that look – and I did!). And guys for, Pete’s sake, keep the chest, back, ear and nostril hair under control! For that matter any other bodily hair – keep it all under control! I know it’s frustrating for us guys getting a bit older who are losing hair where it seemed logical for God to plant hair and grow hair where you know He absolutely never intended for hair to grow – but by golly boys we gotta keep the lawn under control and our bodies in some kinda shape if we want a woman’s mind to still see us as desirable! Most humans are driven by their five senses – and most women, I suspect, are driven by those senses even more than most men. So, ask yourself this nearly every day of your life – do I look good, smell good, sound good, feel good? If the answer is no – if you’ve got hair growing where hair shouldn’t grow, and your chin has turned into a double or triple chin, and your stomach gets in the way of relieving yourself at a urinal – get on it guys! Be someone your someone wants to be with! Be loveable!
4. And finally, do something special on Valentine’s Day guys! Use some level of creativity to make it special. If you have kids, spend some time with them, but organize the babysitter or swap houses with your parents and have them look after the kids while you stay at their place so you can get some alone time. You don’t have to break the bank financially on Valentine’s Day, but you do have to plan the effort for it to be romantic. Having your lady figure out the babysitting, or the dinner plans, and so on is not romantic for them after a day of work and dealing with the rest of life challenges. Men, if you have kids call the babysitter, pick the babysitter up, take the baby sitter home or get some other arrangements for the kids. If you want to romance her you don’t have to take her to a fancy restaurant – try an evening at home, listening to great music, cooking together and drinking some great wine. Make sure YOU found a recipe to try together, make sure YOU shopped for the supplies to make dinner for the two of you. Remember what SHE likes; not every lady likes flowers, not everyone likes chocolates – so know what SHE likes – and get what SHE likes. And for heaven’s sake don’t confuse a past girlfriend’s likes with your current lady’s likes! Pay attention boys! Make sure she knows it’s her you’re thinking about. Get some candles out, get a fire roaring in the fireplace to sit around while you’re eating the meal you’ve prepared together. Create the moment she’s been missing. By doing so you’ll be seen as loveable. Surprise her with desert in bed – and who knows where that’s going to lead? But, moving forward – past February 14, through the rest of the year – your far more likely to sustain that romantic fire between you, than if you’re simply just not that loveable. Don’t be a one hit wonder every year…be loveable all year long and let Valentine’s Day be the culmination of another year of a great relationship together!
Happy Valentine’s Day!